Things I'll Never Say
by lindsay1220
Summary: Song fic about when Lily and James got together in seventh year using the song Things I'll Never Say by Avril lavigne.


**disclaimer: don't own the song or characters. just the plot.******

**a/n: Hello, everyone. This is a James/Lily songfic to Avril Lavigne's **_**Things I'll Never Say**_**. And if you read this, please leave a review! I'll do my very best to respond to every single one!**

"I'm going to tell James how I feel about him today, Alice," Lily said as she was brushing her hair. "We have to organize the prefects schedules."

"Finally, Lils!" Alice said. "It's not the most romantic setting, but…what can you do?"

"You want to help me get ready?" Lily asked.

"Oh, for heaven's sake, Lily, you're seventeen. I'm sure you can handle it. Bye-bye, and good luck!" Alice called over her shoulder as she left the girl's dormitory.

_**Oh well**_, Lily thought. _**She's right, at any rate.**_

After primping herself appropriately, Lily went to the classroom where she was meeting James.

_**I'm so glad we're friends now**_, Lily thought. Then another thought went through her head. _**What if he doesn't like me anymore, now that we're friends? What if I screw it all up? **_

"Hi Lily," said a deep voice from behind her. James. "Shall we get started then?" he asked.

"Umm, sure," Lily squeaked. She hurried into the classroom.

_I'm tuggin' at my hair __  
__I'm pullin' at my clothes __  
__I'm tryin' to keep my cool __  
__I know it shows _

_**I wonder if my hair got messed up?**_ Lily thought, tugging and twisting it. _**It's**_ _**in a simple style. Style! My clothes! Do the accessories I put on look okay? **_As Lily had this thought, she pulled on her clothes and adjusted her simple hoop earrings.

"Uh, Lily?" James said carefully. "Are you okay? You seem…nervous."

_**Crap,**_ Lily thought anxiously, _**is it that obvious**_? But out loud she said, "Oh, no, I'm fine. Now about those schedules…"

_I'm starin' at my feet __  
__My cheeks are turnin'' red __  
__I'm searchin' for the words __  
__Inside my head _

"What time should these two go?" James asked Lily.

"Umm, what?" Lily asked in a high-pitched voice. "Oh, umm, I don't know, what do you think?" _**Argh, why am I blushing?**_ Lily thought furiously while a scarlet blush crept on to her cheeks.

"Lily," James said with concern in his voice, "are you sure you're really okay?"

"Yeah!" Lily squeaked. _**No! Merlin, I'm blushing again!**_ Lily thought as she looked at her feet. _**Maybe I should just come out and tell him… But what should I say?**_ she wondered.

_I'm feeling nervous __  
__Tryin' to be so perfect __  
__'Cause I know you're worth it __  
__You're worth it…yeah _

"So Betty Rogers and Greg Hoffman can't go on rounds at the same time," James continued.

_**Why am I so nervous?**_ Lily asked herself. _**Oh, no! He's talking to you! Say something intelligent! **_she screamed inside her head. "Umm, why was that again, James?" _**Do better**__,_ she told herself. _**He's worth it! **_

_If I could say what I want to say __  
__I'd say I want to blow you…away __  
__Be with you every night __  
__Am I squeezin' you too tight?_

As Lily stared into James's hazel eyes, she thought about all the things she wanted to tell him, but for some reason couldn't.

_**I want to dazzle him, blow him away,**_ she thought, _**and always be with him. I hope that doesn't sound stalkerish… **_

_If I could say what I want to see __  
__I want to see you go down…on one knee __  
__Marry me today __  
__Guess I'm wishin' my life away __  
__With these things I'll never say _

_**He should just propose to me right here and now…**_ Lily thought dreamily. _**Who am I kidding, she thought bitterly, I'll never tell him any of this stuff. Wishful thinking… **_

_It don't do me any good __  
__It's just a waste of time __  
__What use is it to you __  
__What's on my mind_

"Lily?" James asked loudly, as though it was not the first time he had called her.

"Huh? Oh, yes?" she answered him, feeling herself blush.

"What were you thinking about? You were so lost in thought, I had to call you four times!" James chuckled at this last part.

"It doesn't have anything to do with prefects, so it's no real use," Lily said as she shrugged. _**Why does he care, **_she wondered._** Why does it matter to him? **_

_  
__If it ain't comin' out __  
__We're not goin' anywhere __  
__Why can't I just tell you that I care? _

"Okay," he said slowly. "Just curious. Back to prefects then…"

"Right, right…" Lily said. _**This stupid meeting isn't leading up to anything. Why can't I just come out and tell him that I care about him? **___

_'Cause I'm feelin' nervous __  
__Tryin' to be so perfect __  
__But I know you're worth it __  
__You're worth it…yeah _

_**I shouldn't be this nervous. He's liked me for a long time, maybe he still does. I should probably try to pitch in with the schedules more, so I don't look like a total dunce…**_ Lily thought sheepishly.

_If I could say what I want to say __  
__I'd say I want to blow you…away __  
__Be with you every night __  
__Am I squeezin' you too tight?_

_**Why can't I be myself? That would blow him away, and he'd be besotted with me, and I would be with him day and night, but not obsessively,**_ she thought firmly, while James was basically doing the schedules himself.

_If I could say what I want to see __  
__I want to see you go down…on one knee __  
__Marry me today __  
__Guess I'm wishin' my life away __  
__With these things I'll never say_

_**He should honestly just sweep me off my feet right now, and take me down to the lake and propose…but that'll never happen because those are things I'll never say…**_ Lily thought sadly.

_What's wrong __  
__With my tongue? __  
__These words keep slippin' away __  
__I stutter…I stumble __  
__Like I've got nothin' to say _  
_**  
**__**What's wrong with me?**_ she wondered dismally. _**I keep trying, but I just can't say it… **_

"Lily?" James asked. "You're certain you're all right?"

"Y-yes, James," Lily stuttered. "I'm f-f-fine. B-but I've b-b-been trying to t-tell you something," she stammered.

"Yes?" he said eagerly.

_'Cause I'm feeling nervous __  
__Tryin' to be so perfect __  
__But I know you're worth it __  
__You're worth it…yeah __  
__Guess I'm wishin' my life away __  
__With these things I'll never say _

_**No, I can't do this. I'm too nervous… I've been trying to help, but I just can't think… But maybe he's worth it… But who am I kidding? I'll never have enough courage… Why am I even in Gryffindor? **_

_If I could say what I want to say __  
__I'd say I want to blow you…away __  
__Be with you every night __  
__Am I squeezing' you too tight?_

_**I could try to earn the reputation I have from this house… It would certainly blow James away… And then we'd be together forever, in a perfectly healthy, non-stalker relationship… **_

_  
__If I could say what I want to see __  
__I want to see you go down…on one knee __  
__Marry me today_

_**Dang it, James!**_ she thought, sending brainwaves toward him, _**just propose, and we can get married… **_  
__

_Guess I'm wishin' my life away __  
__With these things I'll never say_

_**I should be in Hufflepuff, I am so cowardly… I should just face it, I'll never tell him these things… Never… **_

"I finished the schedules, Lily!" James shouted. Lily jumped.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I should have helped more," she said, worried.

"It's okay, it wasn't too bad. Will you please tell me what you were thinking about this whole time?" James asked playfully.

_**Shoot… What now?**_ Lily wondered.

Suddenly, she leaned up and kissed him. At first he didn't respond, but then he was kissing her back, and Lily was truly feeling pure bliss. She drew back when she was about to faint from the lack of oxygen.

"That's what I was thinking about," she said breathlessly. She then took James's hand and walked back to the common room with him.

_These things I'll never say_

_**Those things I never said… **__**  
**_**a/n: Soo, did you guys love it? Like it? Hate it? Please tell me, and I'll try to respond to everyone!**


End file.
